Swimming the Tiber and Trusting in the Church

Making decisions and acting on the will that is involved in our having faith in the Church is not always easy. I must say that my experiences thus far have been joyful, hopeful but not without some anxiety and uncertainty. That does not mean any second guessing of my decision at all. What it means is that God wants to strip me of everything that I hold onto outside of himself so that he becomes the absolute one to whom I place my trust for all things. The reason this swim is always a conversion that is individual in its spiritual scope is that God works within his community on individuals to make them more into the image of his Son. I believe St. John of the Cross would describe this as our staying in the centre of our humility. There seems to me that a bit of a desert experience is always needed for each individual who decides to follow their conscience. Sometimes we want to say that our trials come because of some deficiency in others' abilities. But, I am not so sure that is always true. Sometimes, and I think most of the time, the Holy Spirit brings us to the desert for a bit so that we get a sense of the mystery in the crosses we carry. That sense is our becoming more conformed into the one who emptied himself of all for us.

I think people, particularly clergy, who make a decision to cross the Tiber need to come to serious terms that it does not mean there won't be scars from the swim. But that is not because some person or our Lord wants to inflict unnecessary pain upon us. God wants every part of us committed to him and he wants us to be completely free from our feeble attempts to hold on to our securities so that when we step out in radical obedient faith we know he will catch us when we fall. That fall may be longer than one expected and the net may not become visible for a good part of the fall but the promise is he will mend the net to catch us.

This brings me to the title of my post on our faith in the Church. Cardinal Newman spoke of our faith in the Church when he himself made the decision to be reunited to Peter. To trust God is to trust his Church. What that does not mean is that there will be perfection which is due to the human element of the Body of Christ. There will be disappointments and at times one may experience the impact of original sin. But, says Newman

Trust the Church of God implicitly, even when your natural judgment would take a different course from hers, and would induce you to question her prudence on her correctness. Recollect what a hard task she has; how she is sure to be criticized and spoken against, whatever she does; recollect how long is the experience gained in eighteen hundred years, and what a right she has to claim your assent to principles which have had so extended and so triumphant a trial. Thank her that she has kept the faith safe for so many generations, and do your part in helping her to transmit it to generations after you.

'It is I: be not afraid.'

When I sink down in gloom or fear,
Hope blighted or delay'd,
Thy whisper, Lord, my heart shall cheer,
'Tis I; be not afraid!'

Or, startled at some sudden blow,
If fretful thoughts I feel,
'Fear not, it is is but I!' shall flow,
As balm my wound to heal.

Nor will I quit Thy way, though foes
Some onward pass defend;
From each rough voice the watchword goes,
'Be not afraid!...a friend!'

And oh! when judgement's trumpet clear
Awakes me from the grave,
Still in its echo may I hear,
'Tis Christ; He comes to save.'